SPIRITUAL Guide to Gracious Living
AMERICAN ATHEISTS info@ATHEISTS.ORG
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Culinary Self Improvement
Justice Burlesque
Hygiene Love & Marriage
Slapstick Comedy Bedtime Stories
Sport Fulfilled Promises
Grand Opera
CULINARY DEPARTMENT
"...Hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that
they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?"
--Isaiah 36:12; also in II Kings 18:27.
The lord commanded: "And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and
thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their
sight." --Ezekiel 4:12.
"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your
daughters shall ye eat." --Levitcus 26:29.
"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy
sons, and of thy daughters which the LORD thy god hath given
thee..." --Deuteronomy 28:53.
"So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the
next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid his
son." --2 Kings 6:29.
JUSTICE
"When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one
draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that
smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the
secrets; then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity
her." --Deuteronomy 25:11-12.
"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut
off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD."
--Deuteronomy 23:1.
"...the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great
destruction; and he smote the men of the city, both small and
great, and they had emerods (piles) in their secret parts." --1
Samuel 5:9.
The lord was appeased, however, after the men had made golden
images of their emerods (piles). --1 Samuel 6:4.
HYGIENE
The lord promised: "Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the
house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth
against the wall..." --1 Kings 14:10. (This unsanitary practice
caused some serious erosion of the mud walls).
SLAPSTICK COMEDY
The lord threatened his children: "Behold, I will corrupt your
seed, and spread dung upon your faces." --Malachi 2:3.
SPORT
"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against
the stones." --Psalms 137:9.
"And he (David) brought out the people that were in it and cut them
with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes. Even so dealt
David with all the cities of the children of Ammon." --1 Chronicles
20:3.
"And he (David) brought forth the people that were therein, and put
them under saws and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron,
and made them pass through the brick-kiln." --2 Samuel 12:31.
GRAND OPERA
"Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine
inward parts for Kir-haresh." --Isaiah 16:11.
SELF IMPROVEMENT
"...(become) eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake." --Matthew
19:12. (Origen, Paul and other early Christians faithfully carried
out this divine injunction.)
"Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee: cut them off, and
cast them from thee." --Matthew 18:8.
BURLESQUE
God said to Moses: "And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt
see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen." --Exodus 33:23.
LOVE AND MARRIAGE
"Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the
days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of
Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the
flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." --
Ezekiel 23:19-20.
"...so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them;
and that they knew her, and abused her all the night until the
morning..." (She died) --Judges 19:25.
King Saul asked 100 foreskins in return for his daughter in
marriage. David zealously pared off 200 Philistine prepuces to win
his bride. --I Samuel 19:25-27.
"And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto they brother's wife, and
marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the
seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto
his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he
should give seed to his brother." --Genesis 38:8-9.
BEDTIME STORIES
The men of Sodom wanted to bugger two angels abiding with Lot. Lot
said, "Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known a man;
let me, I pray you, bring them unto you, and do ye to them as is
good in your eyes." --Genesis 19:8.
But the Sodomites preferred male angels. The Lot family escaped;
Mrs. Lot looked back, became a pillar of salt; father Lot and
daughters fled to a cave, at which time the elder daughter
proposed: "Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie
with him, that we may preserve seed of our father." --Genesis
19:32.
"Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father."
--Genesis 19:36.
Moses told his soldiers: "Now therefore kill every male among the
little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with
him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying
with him, keep alive for yourselves." --Numbers 31:17-18.
FULFILLED PROMISES
Christ demanded: "But those mine enemies, which would not that I
should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me."
--Luke 19:27.
Christ announced: "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth:
I came not to send peace, but a sword." --Matthew 10:34.
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." --Exodus 22:18. Thanks to
the vigilance of good Christians, witches were killed in great
numbers before the year 1712.
In this "sacred" book of family scandals we find filth, sex orgies,
cannibalism, atrocities, sex perversions, incest, bloody violence
unparalleled in any other chronicle in all the literature of the
world. Fortunately, not one-third of the human family has ever
heard of the Christian Bible; not one-tenth of the Christians have
ever read it, and no two who have read it agree as to its meaning.
Won't you help get this book out of the hands of our children, out
of decent homes, and out of hotel and motel rooms?
--Frank C. Hughes
THE HUMAN RACE HAS SUFFERED FOR CENTURIES AND IS STILL SUFFERING
FROM THE MENTAL DISORDER KNOWN AS RELIGION, AND ATHEISM IS THE ONLY
PHYSICIAN THAT WILL BE ABLE TO EFFECT A PERMANENT CURE.
--Joseph Lewis
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