Feminist couple supports Natural Family Planning
By Rachel Richmond The Catholic Review http://www.catholicreview.org
Review staff correspondent
Wayne and Robin Day-Laporte are self-described feminists. A technical information specialist at
NASA and an elementary special education teacher, respectively, the 25-year-olds became
Catholic last Easter Vigil. But their decision to use natural family planning as a means to
postpone pregnancy was more of an intellectual decision that has gradually become spiritual.
"NFP for us isn’t just a blind religious thing. It’s something that we thought about," said Mrs. Day-
Laporte. "It’s becoming a religious thing for us. We’re sort of reconciling it to our faith."
Natural family planning is a means by which pregnancy is achieved or avoided through
knowledge of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman’s menstrual cycle. The Catechism of the
Catholic Church says that spacing the births of children or avoiding pregnancy through
abstinence during a woman’s fertile period is acceptable, provided couples have serious reasons
and have made the decision based on intention, motive and objective criteria (CCC 2368, 2370).
The Day-Laportes are typical young adults. They met in college and were married in July 2000.
The right thing to do
"We’re very normal. We drink and do fun things," said Mrs. Day-Laporte. Both of them are in
graduate school at McDaniel College in Westminster and hope to enter the Peace Corps.
Unlike some Catholics who use NFP simply because it’s a tenet of the faith, the Day-Laportes
were convinced independently that it’s the right thing to do.
"It’s really sort of the fulfillment of my feminist ideals," Mrs. Day-Laporte said. As a women’s
studies major at Gordon College in Boston, she was known to tout birth control as a means of
liberating women from their fertility. But once she and her husband learned about NFP and
experienced the harmful effects birth control pills were having on her, they made the switch.
"NFP is very, very reliable. And I feel as if you do it responsibly, you are just as liberated as with
the pill, without the side-effects," Mr. Day-Laporte said. He had always felt uneasy, he said, when
his wife was on the pill because of its potential to cause abortions if conception occurs.
"I think before I felt anxious. I had this plan and I was really praying hard that God’s plan didn’t
differ from that plan," Mrs. Day-Laporte said. "I really feel like we are in a position (now) to obey
God, to really hear God."
All the myths are false
Making the switch from oral contraceptives to natural family planning wasn’t completely stress-
free. While they were learning to use NFP, the Day-Laportes did abstain from sexual relations for
a few months. And they at first had heard only the myths: that NFP didn’t work, that everyone
who used it had large families, that it would hurt their sex life. But as they took classes in the
sympto-thermal method through St. Agnes HealthCare, Baltimore, and then used it for the last
seven months, they said they’ve found all of the myths to be false.
"We love it. I can’t say enough good things about it. It was totally worth the fear and trepidation
coming off the pill. And I think it wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be," Mrs. Day-
Laporte said.
The two wake up at the same time each morning to chart Mrs. Day-Laporte’s cycle, which
involves taking her morning temperature and charting bodily changes. They said it is necessary
to be consistent about it but it takes very little time.
Natural family planning does require abstinence during the woman’s fertile time, usually about a
week. But the Day-Laportes, who said they are still practically "honeymooners," haven’t felt
constrained or less spontaneous.
"I think it doesn’t matter that it’s a little less frequent because it’s so much better," Mrs. Day-
Laporte said. "During the time when we can’t have sex it does make us more romantic and more
creative."
A sign of commitment
"It has no less passion but it becomes an extension of our commitment to each other," Mr. Day-
Laporte said.
She said that she and her husband’s example is the best way to show others who might be
scared to take the leap of faith, that NFP is reliable, easy and satisfying.
The Day-Laportes are looking forward to starting a family in the future, secure in their belief that
they are working with God and his design.
"I look forward to having a bunch of (children) and having them run around," Mr. Day-Laporte
said.
"We both aspire to feminism, to make our marriage equal, and this is a sign that we believe
that," Mrs. Day-Laporte said.
National Natural Family Planning Week is July 21-27. For more information on NFP call St.
Agnes at 410-368-2810, the archdiocesan marriage preparation office at 410-547-5420 or go to
http:// www.usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/index.htm.
E-mail Rachel Richmond at rrichmond@catholicreview.org
Steve
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Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.
- Nikki Giovanni
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