I have not displayed a flag since late in 2001, when things started changing. I don't mean 9/11, I mean afterwards. When the emphasis began changing. When you were either "for us or against us". When bombs fell on Baghdad propelled by WMD lies. When I stopped being proud of the actions of my country.

That distinction between someone (or thing) and its actions, so often touted by therapists, is important. This is my country. I think it's the best the world has to offer, despite its flaws. I served in the military, ready - if not exactly eager - to die to defend it. But its symbol, Old Glory, had been seized by others, by those that claimed that true patriots would always support Bush, no matter how wrong you thought he was. I didn't - and don't - want to be associated with them.

Still, my son had made it, full of his idea of America, not yet jaded by jingoistic zealots. An America where working hard meant you succeeded, not that your job was shipped overseas. Where freedom applies to everyone, especially if you don't agree with them. An America where we take care of each other, where we truly are the land of the free and home of the brave. An America where all the campaign promises and idealistic promises were reality, or only a vote or two away. He'd made this flag, filled with these ideals that I'd seen politics turn into marketing slogans.

So we put it up, no matter how uncomfortable it made me. I carried on, criticizing the current Administration, critiquing their policies. I knew what was wrong, and was afraid of where this Administration is leading us.

Then I heard John Edwards speak. I heard this man not talk about what was wrong, but what was right. Who didn't just criticize, but offered a new vision, his "politics of hope".

If this were a fairytale, some Democrat morality play, there would have been an instant conversion that day. My criticism, my negativity would have vanished in a puff of fairy godmother smoke.

It didn't happen that way. Hoping is hard. It's so easy to be negative, to point out what's wrong. When you're negative, you're never disappointed. Even if you're wrong, you're pleasantly surprised. Hoping, being positive, opens up the possibility of failure or defeat. It sets you up for other people to criticize you.

But now I look at my son's finger-painted flag, and try to believe, to hope. I try to be positive and offer an idea of what we can become, what our country can be.

My son still believes in a right and good America, a just land where everyone does their part, where we take care of each other. Where we are no longer an armored fortress, where we are a beacon of light for the rest of the world.

I try to believe, as my son does, because that's the America he deserves.

And I'll do whatever I can to give it to him.